A while back I attended a dinner with some people from a university in mainland China. The headmost honcho gave me a business card with the following job title embossed upon it.
Vice Party Secretary -- Secretary of Discipline Inspection Commission
Now there's a title to ponder. Indeed I'm pondering the fact that I can't think of any possible equivalent title within the United states
2006/10/12
2006/10/11
I Hate Karaoke
Not long after we was married, my wife and I spent an evening in a sushi restaurant on a Saturday night -- karaoke night -- and this was back when it was a rockin'place to hang out before this anal japanese american smoothboy took over management of the place and sucked out all the fun. Anyway, people are getting up and banging out one silly-assed out-of-tune song after another, and I'm thinking my gawd I could get a better sound by hurling cats into a pile of broken ukuleles (I thought about making the analogy a pile of guitars but ukuleles are funnier and should be broken but I digress), I don't have perfect pitch, but apparently it's less imperfect than the pitch of people who enjoy karaoke, and my new wife insists that I get up and sing a song, so I do the smart thing, I pick a song that can be shouted and not sound bad: Bob Seeger's "Old Time Rock and Roll", and right after my pick is announced whoo boy this hot young blond babe runs up to stand next to me and in her babe-giggly way says "I'm going to sing this song with you!"
Okay I'm thinking somebody standing up here has serious bad timing, like maybe I should have tried singing karaoke when I was still single and not after I've married the greenest-eyed killer babe on the planet so I do the only thing I can think of, I treat this woman like she's got this horrible wart disease and to even glance at her is to get horrible warts and I focus really hard on the teleprompter lyrics as if it's a really hard song to follow but that only looks stupid because it's hard to follow the way a garbage truck is hard to follow along highway 101 during rush hour.
Then there was the time I had to listen to karaoke in a Chinese Army Officer's club (that's Communist China buddy), and what do you say to a colonel in the Chinese Army who's probably used to shooting noncoms and citizens who squint bad at him, when he asks you how you like his singing and the honest answer is to compare it unfavorably to the sound of chainsaws cutting up airplane wings?
Okay I'm thinking somebody standing up here has serious bad timing, like maybe I should have tried singing karaoke when I was still single and not after I've married the greenest-eyed killer babe on the planet so I do the only thing I can think of, I treat this woman like she's got this horrible wart disease and to even glance at her is to get horrible warts and I focus really hard on the teleprompter lyrics as if it's a really hard song to follow but that only looks stupid because it's hard to follow the way a garbage truck is hard to follow along highway 101 during rush hour.
Then there was the time I had to listen to karaoke in a Chinese Army Officer's club (that's Communist China buddy), and what do you say to a colonel in the Chinese Army who's probably used to shooting noncoms and citizens who squint bad at him, when he asks you how you like his singing and the honest answer is to compare it unfavorably to the sound of chainsaws cutting up airplane wings?
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