Scene: a couple is conversing at an outdoor table for a restaurant. A large SUV starts up a couple feet away. Conversation continues for a while. The SUV doesn't move, its engine still running.
The couple have to raise their voices, then begin to complain about the SUV and its driver. It should be illegal to just sit there and let the engine idle, especially near people trying to eat. They speculate about what the driver could be doing that's so important.
CUT to the SUV interior. Looking forward over the driver's shoulder. The dining couple is framed in the windshield. The driver is watching a youtube video on his phone about how to back back his SUV out of a parking space.
The video is in the middle of a checklist of what to do: check side mirrors and rear view mirror for obstructions. Check left and righ for oncoming traffic. Put car in reverse. If you have a manual transmission, see this other video.
Driver can't keep up with instructions, especially confused by the manual transmission bit. Rewinds the video, gets a commercial for the SUV.
CUT to the diners. I could ask him to move. No don't do that, people who drive cars like that always carry guns. We could move to another table. Maybe he'll leave soon.
CUT to SUV. Commercial has ended, the checklist has begun again. Start the engine. Driver complies, and gets a horrible grinding noise, since the engine is already running. Driver winces, couple winces, mutter not-nice things.
CUT do diners. He's got to leave soon. You think so, I mean its like he doesn't know how to drive or something.
CUT to SUV: driver rapidly spins head around as he gets through the "check mirrors" part of the video, at the manual transmission part, he pauses the video and thinks for a moment. He presses a couple buttons and says "Okay google, how do I tell if I have manual transmission?"
Eventually the SUV lurches away.
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Robot cars an end to vehicular crimes?
Bank robber with a gun and a bundle of loot jumps into his robot car, yells go go go! "Where to?" Anywhere. North! Go north!" The car activates its turn signal and smoothly, slowly pulls into traffic.
"Faster!"
"We have reached the speed limit, sir!" says the car, in an annoyingly perky voice. Sirens grow in the background.
"Turn left up here!"
"I can't do that, left turns are not permitted at this intersection."
"Then go faster!"
"We have reached the maximum speed limit. A faster speed will require emergency authorization."
"This is an emergency, go faster!"
"Yes sir. Increasing speed. I have also notified the authorities that we have an emergency, and am sending them our location and projected route."
